"No Disassemble Johnny 5!!" - 09/22/2007

"No Disassemble Johnny 5!!"

09/22/2007

This one started in a school. I was sitting in a desk with a bunch of others that were surrounding a projector. The teacher was going over something and we were all supposed to be taking notes. I don't remember very much about this part, but I know that, at some time, I got out of my desk and was actually laying down on the floor, taking notes, instead of being in my chair. E.T. and M.R. (two female ex-coworkers, that are too old for school) were some of my classmates. It was a holiday and there was a big "holiday function" going on, in the auditorium. Afterward, during the night, we all went out to eat at a place that reminded me of Denny's.

I really don't know how he got tied into all of this but, for some reason, the robot Johnny 5 (from the movie Short Circuit) was a friend of mine, and he was in the restaurant with us. Some big "Kill Johnny 5" scenario broke out where even some of the restaurant workers were out to destroy him. One of the restaurant workers even had a laser like J5's, that he was shooting up the whole place with, trying to get the robot. We were able to get him safely out of the restaurant, and into M.R.'s car. There was a short segment that I remember where J5 and I were laughing and joking around in the backseat and we were showing ourselves to be such good friends that M.R. and E.T. were like "Awwww."

We drove to the apartment of the girl from the Short Circuit movie (which looked like the apt complex I lived in, in Georgia). As we were pulling up, we saw a backhoe working in a ditch on the side of the neighborhood. J5 said something like "That's him," implying that he had a mechanical arch-nemesis. We drove by the backhoe as discretely as we could while J5 explained that the backhoe was some sort of alien technology that could shape-shift like the Transformers. Once we got in the apartment, my perspective switched from first- to third-person.

In third-person, I saw the backhoe move to another position in the neighborhood and do this crazy section-by-section transformation, and turn into another type of "tractor." The next day came (still in third-person) and I watched the foreman of the construction project start investigating the incorrect digging of the ditch the backhoe was attending to. Then, out of nowhere, the (newly transformed) backhoe, which was now more like a fork-lift, slam into the foreman from behind and push him into some sort of compacting machine. The guy's arm got trapped in the machine and I saw him get dragged into the works and shredded by the machine (which looked completely fake, as if it was a b-movie effect). Afterward, the "forklift" manifested this humanoid for a driver (kind of like the Decepticon's from the movie had the holographic drivers/pilots), and assume the identity of the foreman.

The next morning (back in first person), the holographic person came to our apartment door, which was on the second floor, and demanded to see J5. J5 had actually asked us to shut down his system, so he couldn't be detected by the other machine, and we told the holographic guy that J5 wasn't with us (I really won't take the time to fully describe the guy's persona, but he was a really animated psychopath - kinda looking like Sylar from Heroes, with a personality like a psychotic Jim Carrey). The guy finally went away, but then, knowing that we were lying, he got back in his "transformer" and started tearing apart the neighborhood. He used the machine to stack up a bunch of crates and shoot them, with some weird catapult mechanism, toward the train tracks that were not far from us (this, I saw in third person). Finally, he launched a huge rubber tire onto the tracks. Some guy came along, just as a train was coming, and tried to remove the tire from the tracks and the "Decepticon" (for lack of a better word) tricked the guy into staying on the tracks for too long, and the guy got hit by the train. Still as a disembodied entity, my perspective followed the holographic guy as he walked back to the machine, after revelling in his handi-work. I began to actually talk to him (though I was really no more than a "camera" following him) and asked him about how it felt to be a killer, somewhat interviewing him. He said he "loved his work."

My perspective switched back to first-person, and we were up inside the apartment. I seemed to have some recollection of what I'd seen as a disembodied entity, because I was suddenly telling everyone with me that "We need to get out of here" because this guy was about to go apeshit. The girl we'd come to seek refuge with said that she wasn't packed and ready, and that we could leave without her, and she'd catch up with her. I said something like "No, we need to leave now! I don't care if you run out with your pj's on. We have to go!" No sooner had I said this, than my perspective switched back to 3rd person, and I saw a bunch of chains attached to the same conveyor-belt machine that had chopped up the foreman. The chains were strung up to our apartment. They started pulling and completely ripped the staircase and front face of our apartment off.

Shortly after, back in first person, we heard a piano playing downstairs. What was once a second-story apartment was now a two-story sort of townhouse. We walked down an inside staircase (which wasn't there when we got there) and to the first floor of her apartment. She now had a bunch of family members down there, and there was a piano playing by itself. I knew something was definitely wrong, and we all stood around trying to find out what was going on. There was a round young boy that was standing near me. The front door, which was directly behind me, blew open, and I rushed to close it. For some reason, I looked back at the kid. I somehow knew that there was something not right with this kid, and put him in an arm lock. He went from a false panic to a maniacal laughter, and I (again, somehow) knew that the holographic man had transformed into the kid. Holding him, I asked what happened to the real kid that was related to the girl we were hiding with. The "boy" said something like "Him? Oh, I chopped him up and put him in the piano" motioning over to the piano that was playing itself, and he continued laughing. The kid was suddenly gone and, looking outside, I saw that he had materialized back into the crazy holographic guy. Through the window, he made one final demand for us to give up J5, so he could destroy him. We refused, and he was like "Ok, fine," and walked off. My perspective switched yet again and saw the guy standing over a detonator. He said something fanatical that ended with the words "TNT!" (don't remember what he said, though), and hit the detonator. A huge chain reaction of explosions started that implied he'd wired the entire complex with explosions and was about to take it all down, including our apartment. We could feel the ground shaking as the explosions went off, and they were getting increasingly closer. I didn't get to see what happened though, because, during the explosions, I woke up.

"But the Point is..." - 08/14/2007

”But the Point Is…”

08/14/2007

I remember pulling up to a bar/restaurant – something like the Ale House – and sitting inside, with a table full of people. None of them seemed very familiar, though. The restaurant was absolutely packed, and I was, more or less, the only black guy in the place. After a while of sitting around, shooting the shit, I had turned around and asked a girl, that was sitting in the booth behind me, something. I can’t remember what it was, but I wasn’t hitting on her or anything. I didn’t even notice that there was a guy sitting right next to her, until he leaned over and slurred something like “Why don’t you leave us alone and take your ass back to Kentucky Fried Chicken?”

I heard a chorus of collective gasps and “Oh, shit”s from the people at my table, obviously thinking that it was going to be World War III up in the restaurant. Heh. I just kinda looked over at them and smiled, and shook my head. I said “Nah, I’m not even worried about it. I get this kinda thing more often than you’d think. People that ignorant aren’t even worth my time, let alone my effort to fight.” From behind me, I heard the guy stand up. I looked over at him as he came around to my side of the table and started getting all worked up about what I’d just said. He was a fat, flannel-shirt and dirty baseball cap wearing, redneck and was obviously so drunk that he could barely see straight. He was all “What did you say, ni**er?? I’ll bust you up (blah blah blah)”

I remain seated and just shrugged this guy off. I started making cracks at him like “Look, man. I know you feel threatened by black folk and that you have to compensate by puffing out your chest. It’s ok. Everybody deals with their insecurities in different ways. Yours just happens to be talking unintelligent bullshit and trying to intimidate others. I understand.” (Not exact dialogue, which I can’t remember, it was close to it.)

The people at my table started chuckling a little bit and, by this time, other people around us had started noticing what was going on. The guy got more pissed and was like “Get up! Get up and we’ll see how bad you are!!” Like I said, this guy was obviously hammered - slurring, and wobbling as he stood. He was bigger (read: “just about as tall, but much fatter”) than me, but I can tell that this wouldn’t even be a fight. I’d be surprised if he even landed a punch. Actually, I kinda pitied the guy.

Still, I remained seated and shook my head at the guy. I was like “You know…I could get up. I could wreck this good time that I’m having with my friends, over here, and get drawn into a fight with you. Drunk as you are, I’m sure it wouldn’t be that much work. But that’s not the point. The point is…I don’t wanna f*ckin' fight you.” He’s like “you’re scared! I know you are! Come on, let’s go!” Without missing a beat, I was like “Scared? Scared of what…a drunken fat man, with a chip on his shoulder and 1/3 of my I.Q.? Please. I mean, you’re not even smart enough to realize that you can’t even stand up straight on your own. Why the hell would I feel like I’d have a hard time knocking you down?” (Again, none of this is verbatim. Just the gist of the conversation. The point is that, with everything this guy said, I had the perfect comeback. I was destroying this guy, in the eyes of the crowd. Heh.) This got a huge laugh from the people at my table, and I just grinned and shrugged my shoulders at the guy, capping it off with what I had said the first time…”But…that’s not the point. The point is…I don’t wanna f*ckin' fight you.”

He was getting more and more heated, and I just leaned back in my chair and played him down. Finally, the girl that he was sitting with (I think she was the only person with him) got up and started trying to get him to leave with her, obviously embarrassed that this guy was making a complete ass of himself. He fought it off for a little while, but started slowly making his way toward the door with her, walking (practically being dragged) backward and yelling shit across the room at me, the whole time. I can’t remember what it was he said, but there was another exchange of words, while he was near the door. Everyone in the whole restaurant was watching us, and I finally stood up, as if making a speech. I said “Look….” And I went into this whole looooooooong (but nonchalant) series of insults, basically tearing down his intellect, making fun of his drunkenness, and telling him that the best thing he had going for him was that his ladyfriend was trying to protect him. I wish I could remember everything I said, because it lasted about twenty seconds, it was brilliant, and it just floooowwwwed off the tongue. But what really did it was that, when I finished, I paused for a second and then waved my hand, dismissively saying “BUT…that’s not the point…” and by that time, the entire crowd was just eating it up. They knew exactly what I was going to say and the entire room said it with me:

“The Point is…I Don’t [Crowd: “He Doesn’t…”] [Together:] "Wanna F*ckin' Fight You!”

Oh, man. It was beautiful.

The guy got so pissed that he picked up one of the indoor signs and threw it across the room, at nobody in particular. Then I waved my hand again and said “Ok…Management...he’s your problem now. I’m done,” and sat back down. The guy was escorted out and the whole crowd erupted in a cheer. After a moment, a thought crossed my mind, and I got up and said, “I’ll be right back.” Someone asked me where I was going, and I said that I was going to go outside and make sure that guy didn’t do anything to my car, laughed and went to the door. (Not quite sure what made me think that guy knew which car was mine.) As I was heading through the inner-doors - which led to a small front room, before the larger Enter/Exit - some other guy ran up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder and said “Hey, man. I just wanted to tell that I loved the way you handled yourself, back there. That was freaking awesome. Seriously: Good job.” I grinned, thanked him, shook his hand, and walked toward the exit. I don’t remember ever reaching the exit doors, though.

"Stealth-tastic Three" - 08/03/2007

”Stealth-tastic Three”

08/03/2007 

Dream One

I wish I could remember more of this one, because it was awesome, and so vivid. It was something of a cross between the movies Stealth and Fantastic Four. I was a part of a team of young, hotshot fighter pilots, which was made up of myself; a white dude….and Jessica Alba. (Obviously replacing Jessica Biel, who wa actually in the Stealth movie.)

We were flying these sleek, little, black, vertical take-off/landing aircraft, equipped with retractable force fields (kinda like pilotable versions of the aircraft from Stealth, though I can’t remember if that one had a force-field or not. I think it did, though). At some point, we had flown out to this restaurant/bar, somewhere in the desert, in what seemed like Nevada - except not quite as barren, and with just the slightest bit of greenery around. Landing outside the bar, we went in and had some food (don’t remember whether we had any drinks or not). While there, another pilot - a black guy, wearing the same flight-suit as we were - walked into the bar. I don’t remember whether or not our meeting was scheduled, or he just showed up, but he sat with us and gave us a warning about the A.I. that was integrated into our aircraft. I can’t remember exactly what he said, though. I don’t think he confirmed that there was any immediate danger, but simply told us to be careful.

We left the restaurant, shaking his hand as we walked outside to our planes. While we were taking off, I remember looking over to the side, from my cockpit, and seeing Jessica standing up in her cockpit, with the canopy flipped up. It was a pretty badass sight to see her standing there, riding this plane that was climbing in a slow, vertical take-off, with the canopy up, and gazing out over the land like she was just the coolest thing since sliced bread. Heh. A few moments later, she just sat down, dropped the canopy, and we all shot off, horizontally, flying off to wherever.

There was a long sequence, that I completely do not remember, where our planes started turning on us. Even, thinking about, I’m not sure how this exactly would have played out, but I just know that that was the inevitable twist in the narrative.

Skipping ahead: we were back in the big city, in what looked like a high-rise apartment building. This game of cat and mouse, between us and the machines that were now trying to kill us, continued. The last scene I really remember was when we were in one of the rooms of this apartment and one of the planes had blown a hole in a wall, big enough for the small, personal aircraft to hover into the building. The room was fairly large, but the plane completely filled up the majority of it, hovering between the floor and ceiling, with precision – merely inches to spare. We were completely cornered, with our backs against one wall, and we saw that the plane was preparing to fire a rocket at us – point blank range. The plane’s force-field went up, shielding itself from the impending blast, and the rocket fired, somehow slipping through the energy field (which I think wasn’t possible with the plane’s force-field, in the movie, if the one in the movie did have a force-field). Prepared to be blown to dust, we all hit the ground in futility….or so I thought. 

There was a massive explosion, fire engulfing everything around us. However, somehow, I was alive. 

I raised my head and looked around me, seeing nothing but flames and debris exploding, completely blotting out the form of the fighter plane. In shock, I slowly turned to my left. Just over my left shoulder, I saw Jessica, standing strong, with both arms held out in front of her. At the last moment, before the rocket exploded, she had created her own force-field (like her character on Fantastic Four) and had shielded us from the rocket. It was one of the coolest things I’d ever seen.

When the smoke and fire cleared, she dropped the shield. The plane was gone, and we were left in a completely destroyed room. The last thing I remember was stepping out into the - equally-demolished - hallway, and seeing a tenant, further down the corridor, crawling out of some rubble and screaming in agony, because he had about 4 feet of wooden railing driven through his chest, due to the explosion. He staggered, aimlessly, around the hallway, with this beam just sticking out of his body.