"Samurai Initiations" - 01/15/2008

"Samurai Initiations"
01/15/2008

(This is one of the most painful dreams I’ve had in a while. I think I had B6 this night, but I didn’t write it in my notes, so I’m not sure.)

I was back in high school, and there was a huge event taking place in my ROTC class. We were having these initiations into a sort of samurai culture, which were being held in secret, in a large, temple-like arena beneath the school. There were a bunch of different events, of which these trials consisted, including; weapons exhibitions, full-contact fighting tournaments and hardcore endurance tests.

In one of these tests, we had to do a kata while weilding a katana sword, ending with a downward swipe and splitting a bowling ball in half with the sword. I don’t know if it was something I did wrong - or just that my sword wasn’t strong enough - but when I swung the sword down onto the ball, the sword, itself, shattered like glass. Shards of metal flew up at me and became lodged in the fabric of my gi, around my lower, left side. I was not allowed to take the shards out, and so I had to go through the rest of the trials with these glass-like pieces of metal scraping up against my body, perpetually cutting into my skin.

In another trial, we had our wrists and hands covered in flammable fluid. One by one, they went down the row of about twenty of us, setting our hands on fire. We had to stand there, for a specific amount of time (which I cannot remember), while the fire burned, refusing to yell out in pain until our superiors put the fires out. It was excruciating. I have to say it felt like real fire, in every way, except for the maximum intensity of the heat. Had it been a real, waking life fire, I highly doubt I could have held on, but I was able to make it through the dream trial (even though it hurt like a sonofabitch).

In the final trial that I can remember, someone would kneel in front of us with a katana and angle it vertically, standing it on end, with the hilt to the floor and the point facing the ceiling. We would, then, have to press down as hard as we could, on the very tip of the blade. The premise of this test was that, if your mind was strong enough, the blade would not penetrate. But, if you were to lose the “mind over matter” aspect of the test, the sword would pierce your hand, straight through. This is the one that I was most nervous about. I kept thinking to myself that there is no way I’m going to be able to do this. I watched out of the corner of my eye, while they came down the row, one by one, with each student easily passing the test. I began to get more and more anxious, as they came toward me. Once it was my turn, I placed my hand down on the tip of the sword, feeling its all-too-real sharpness.

Just at the moment when I was about to give up all resistance, and press down upon the blade, I woke up.

(*Original Art, based on dream*)

"Repugnant Reflection" - 10/13/2007 (Lucid)

"Repugnant Reflection"

10/13/2007

Dream #2

(Lucid)

(I tried a WBTB, after my Nazi dream from the same night, and got the Dream Views Advanced Task of the Month Done!)

This one started with me sitting at my computer. I'd downloaded some strange "3D Software" that let you rotate the camera views on normal video files as if they were filmed in 3D space. For instance, I started watching The Matrix and, during every scene, I was able to move the camera angles around, in real time, so I could watch any part of the movie from any angle. It was awesome.

Anyway, my buddy, Mike, came over, even though it was like 11:30 at night. He just showed up, and mom got out of bed and let him in. He chilled for a while, and I tried to show him this new software, but I couldn't find the Matrix movie, anymore. I, then, started looking around for other movies, but couldn't find any of them on my hard drive. After a long while, without finding any of my movie files, Mike ended up just going home without ever seeing the software in action.

Later, I was watching regular TV, and there was a documentary on about a planet. It was a really weird planet that was shaped like a squared doughnut and had stripes running around it. The camera panned out, from a close-up view of the terrain, to a wide shot of the entire planet, and I soon noticed that I was no longer watching the TV; I was as actually inside the program and looking down at this planet from space.

I quickly realized that I was dreaming and floated there, for a moment, looking at this odd planet. Figuring I'd rather spend the rest of my dream down on Earth, I decided I would fly down toward the planet and sort of 'turn it into Earth', as I got closer to the ground. I flew downward, as fast as I could, breaking through the atmosphere and watching the ground begin to come into view. The more it approached, the more I saw it looking like Earth. Soon, I was coming down over a cityscape and then diving straight toward my house. My body phased through the roof of my house and, before I knew it, I had landed in my room.

I remembered how I always had trouble flying into space and, feeling a little adventurous, I figured that - since I came down from space so easily - I might be able to get back up there. Testing the troublesome ability, I flew straight upward and and tried to rocket into space again, however, this time, phasing seemed to be more of a challenge, and I got stuck in the ceiling of my room. (DAMNIT I hate when that happens! :P)

I pulled myself back down, out of the ceiling, and landed on my floor again. Trying to think of something to do with the rest of my dreamtime, I suddenly remembered the 'Advanced Task of the Month', from Dreamviews.com (which was to "Find Your Reflection in a Mirror, Pull it Out, and Ask it Why We Dream"), and my bathroom was right across the hall.

Immediately, I ran out of my room and into the bathroom, noticing, on my way there, that mom was sleeping on the couch with a blanket, which she never really does. Closing the bathroom door behind me, I looked in the mirror at my reflection, which was, surprisingly, not deformed or disfigured. At first, I just asked it "Why do we dream?" and it just stood there and looked at me. Its lips never moved when mine did, and it just gazed at me, stoically. I, then, remembered that I had to reach in the mirror and pull my reflection out, in order to complete the task. So, I began to dip my hands into the surface of the mirror, but I was feeling some resistance. It felt like the mirror was trying to solidify with my hands inside, and I couldn't get anything passed a few inches above my wrists into it.

That was far enough, though. Curling my fingers around where I figured the back of my reflection's head would be, I pulled toward myself, trying to bring the entire body out. I was only able to pull 'him' out a little bit, to where the face was sticking out of the mirror by just a few inches. Concluding that this was far enough to count, I asked again, "Why do we dream?" Again, my reflection just stared at me, blankly, and blinked its eyes a few times, unwilling to answer the question.

I got kinda frustrated and just let go, and the reflection snapped back into the mirror. Turning my head left and right, I noticed that my ears were actually much smaller than they are in waking life. Then, I heard my mom down the hall, opening my bedroom door as if she were snooping around in the night, and this broke my focus. It completely threw me out of lucidity, and I opened the door, suspiciously, asking what she was doing. She struggled to provide an explanation, and we got into an argument about privacy, but I forgot the dialog and the dream ended shortly after that.

"Nazis... I Hate Nazis." - 10/13/2007

"Nazis... I Hate Nazis."

10/13/2007

Dream #1

(Had a multivitamin before bed.)

I remember driving along some highway, going to visit Tony, who was out of town, somewhere. Once there, we were hanging out by the pool, at night, with some other people and Tony had gone upstairs, to an apartment on one of the highest floors. He went missing for some time, so I decided to go find him and mess with him. Instead of taking the stairs, I, for some strange reason, decided to climb a rope that led up to every floor, so that I could sneak up behind him, if he was out in the hallway somewhere (I'm sure it made sense, in the dream. Lol).

When I got to the floor that the apartment was on, Tony was already standing there, right in front of me, with his arms cross, grinning as if he had known I was trying to sneak up on him. I said something like "damn you," and we had a good laugh about it. Then, I slid down the rope and back to the bottom floor. I looked up, to see if he was following, surprised to see that he had actually jumped from that level of the building and landed in a tuck-and-roll, near me. I remember being amazed at that, but the dream soon changed.

We were, then, walking through the neighborhood (which began looking more and more like my old neighborhood). There was a car coming down the road, and the driver slowed down once they came along side us, still a few dozen meters away. We heard them scream out something - in what sounded like it could have only been German - and automatic gunfire suddenly erupted from the car. Tony and I immediately scattered. As I was running across a rise in someone's yard and placing a hand down to the grass, once or twice, to stay on my feet, I could see and hear the bullets tearing into the grass and dirt all around me. Just when I was about to round the corner, away from the hail of gunfire, I was struck once or twice in the back. I don't remember whether or not it hurt, but I knew I was hit and could be in serious trouble.

I went around corner and hid on some stranger's porch, breathing heavily. With every passing second, I could feel my energy draining away from me.

Suddenly, I noticed that it was now day time, and I was startled to see someone coming around the corner, a few yards away. It was a Nazi soldier, in full combat uniform. He spotted me and came over in my direction. Just as I began to panic, and was about to try to get up and run, the door beside me open and another Nazi soldier walked out of the house. He looked down, obviously surprised to see me lying on his porch. I was cornered and had absolutely nowhere to go. The first soldier came up to the porch and, seeing that I was still alive, wasted no time speaking. He pulled out a handgun and shot me about 4 times in the chest, at point-blank. It felt like someone had punched me in the chest, and I could feel myself getting more and more tired, like the energy was being syphoned from me. As I lay there, the two Nazis stood over me, talking to each other in a mixture of German and English (I can't remember what they were saying).

In my mind, even though I was getting more tired, I was beginning to wonder why I didn't feel like I was actually dying. I felt like, if these guys would have walked away, I could have gotten up and walked away, myself. But, as they stood over me, I played dead, lying there, slack-jawed, with my eyes rolled back. A sort of involuntary gurgling sound came from my throat, and one of the guys looked down at me. He said something like "You hear that? This guy is still alive." At the sound of that, I gradually made the sound stop, as I really didn't want him to shoot me again just to be sure. He didn't.

After a little while longer, they were convinced I was dead, and they both walked away. I don't remember anything after that.

"Space Cowboy" - 10/16/2007

"Space Cowboy"
10/16/2007

(Had a multi-vitamin, and a really messed-up dream, last night. The weirdest thing about it was that the time period kept jumping - first I would be in the Old West, and then I would be in futuristic space, with mixed up elements of each, in between.)

It seems that I was a Special Agent, and pilot of my own space ship. I also had a beautiful, possibly-Spanish wife or girlfriend, who was very pregnant with my child.

In the beginning of the dream, I remember working on my ship - which was docked on the water - when an assassin had come in and tried to kill me. We had gotten into a firefight, and he dove into the water through a portal in the bottom of the ship. I chased him down, swimming through this long, glass tunnel of water, but he closed a heavy, electronic door at the end before I could get to him, sealing me off and making his escape. I returned to my ship and continued doing what I was doing.

The dream skipped ahead and my girl and I, along with a bunch of others, were now in the Old West. We were shacked up in some hotel and my girl was in the room by herself. I'd gotten a phone call (yes, a phone call, in the Old West!) and it was the leader of the organization that had sent the assassin - my nemesis. He told me that my main priority should be looking out for my wife/girlfriend - in a way that could only be taken as a threat - and then he abruptly hung up. Frantic, I got to the room as quickly as possible and, without alarming her, began to check all the different quarters within our hotel room (which was about the size of a large apartment unit).

In one of the bedrooms, I found a guy who was nearly naked, sitting on the floor, Indian-style, with his back facing me and his head bowed. Gun drawn, I moved upon him slowly and ordered him to get up. When he did, he was completely calm - submissive. He didn't do or say anything, and he just kind of looked at the floor the whole time. I took out a pair of handcuffs and brought his arms up behind his head. This guy was so skinny that I was able to put the handcuffs around his biceps, somehow running the chain through a necklace he was wearing and keeping the handcuffs positioned behind his head, which I'm sure was very uncomfortable. I, then, walked him into the bathroom and sat him in the tub, figuring that, with his arms the way they were, it would be hard for him to get out. I can't remember if I called somebody to pick him up, after that, or what, but the dream skipped ahead again.

It was the next day, and the intruder had been taken care of. My girl was in the shower and we were getting ready to go down to this huge festival that was right outside the hotel. Once outside, everybody in our group was sharing a big table, and we were listening to some live music under the festival tent. After a short while, my girl started to say that she wasn't feeling very well. That her stomach was upset. One of the other ladies said that she would walk her upstairs and stay with her while she lay down.

Some time passed and I decided to go up and check on her. There was a lot of commotion going on, upstairs, and I could tell that something was wrong. When I got to our room, there was a ruckus coming from inside, and a sign was on the door which said something close to: "Please do not disturb. Medical emergency due to miscarriage" (paraphrase). I ran into the room to see my girl laying on the bed, and she looked very sick. There was a doctor already there, and he/she (can't remember which, because I know there was at least another female there) told me that my girl had been poisoned, that she was fighting for her life, and we had already lost the baby; who couldn't have been any more than a month or so from birth. Immediately, I flashed back to the assassin. He had poisoned the water while he was in the house. I had rationalized that the assassin had, somehow, been able to do it after I had put him in the tub.

The doctor didn't allow me to stay, because I would only get in the way, and he told me that they would do what they could and update me on her condition.

Time skipped ahead, and everything was now in the present, though as far as the story-line, it was the same day. Mom was driving me to my best friend T's house, and then she was going to take us both out somewhere in order to try and get my mind off of things. Now, apparently, the girl with whom I was in the relationship was also one of T's ex-girlfriends (though not a real one, from waking life). When I went inside and told him what was going on with her, he didn't really seem to care. I stressed with him that she could die and asked how he could be so cold. He replied with a scathing comment about how his feelings for her ended way before her and I started dating, and he simply didn't care anymore. We'd almost gotten into a big argument about it and decided to just call off hanging out for the day, until our tempers settled.

Later, I had gone back (to the Old West) and got the news that she actually had died. I remember falling to my knees and crying uncontrollably. Shortly after that, I got called on a mission. Still anguished, I flew my crew to a planet where we had to kill these huge aliens (I think the time jumping was more a jumble of ideas than static adherence to any time period. I didn't even think about it being funny that I still had my Space Ship in the old western period). There was a big war that ensued, and it was wild as hell. The aliens were like 15 foot tall porcupines that stood on two legs and, instead of spines on their backs, they had actual soil and leaves and bushes and plants. This entire area was a vast jungle, so what was on their backs was actually camouflage. When they were down on all fours, you couldn't see them at all. Then, they would just appear out of nowhere and, from the underside, they looked like mutant grizzly bears or something. These guys were nasty, and they were just mutilating us - grabbing men and then just disappearing into their surroundings, making themselves really hard to track and shoot. We did end up winning, though, but I was becoming more and more unstable, over the course of the battle. Depression had taken hold of me and, even after we'd declared victory, I refused to talk to anyone.

Back on the ship, I was walking, through its hallways, I was consumed by despair, and I just couldn't take any of this, anymore. The only thing I could think about, at all, was losing my family. It was eating away at me. I couldn't help but blame myself, convinced that it was after I put the guy in the tub that he was able to pollute the water supply. Crawling into the Captain's chair of the dimly-lit cockpit, I just sat there, staring out into space and thinking about all I'd lost. At one point, some of my crew members peeked in, because they knew that I was going under. They didn't say anything, and though I didn't acknowledge them, I could feel their concern. The door eventually closed and they just left, in silence.

I was too far gone, though. Nothing really seemed to matter anymore, and I wanted out. I got up and left the cockpit, making my way to one of the cargo areas and strapping myself in to one of the smaller, single-pilot ships and firing up its engine. Once I left the main ship, I set a random co-ordinate on this personal craft, having absolutely no idea where I was going (as far as I knew, I was just going to the farthest, uninhabited corner of the universe), no food, and no idea how much fuel I had.

Basically saying "f*ck it all," I hit the warp-drive, jumping my ship into the unknown - with no plans of returning or reaching any destination alive.

I just didn't care anymore.